TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING DUTCH:
1 You can get arrested for growing plants, but not for smoking them
2 You can make jokes about the Belgians and still drink their beer
3a You can legally kill yourself
3b You can legally be killed
4 You're exactly like the Germans, except that nobody hates you.
5 You think you are a world power, but everyone else thinks Copenhagen is
your capital.....
6 You get to insult people and defend yourself by saying it's a national
tradition
7 You can put your finger in a d**e and it will save your country
8 You live in the most densely populated country in Europe, and still you've
never seen your neighbours
9 If the economy is bad, blame the Germans. If a war is started, blame the
Germans. If you lose your keys, blame the Germans
10 Bikes are public property. Locks are a challenge
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING BELGIAN:
1 You get to speak three languages, but none of them intelligibly
2 If other countries want to fight a war, they will do it in your country
3 You can brew drinks out of fruit, and still call it beer
4 You are either
4a Like the Dutch, just less efficient
4b Like the French, just less romantic
4c Like the Germans, just less intelligent
5 Decent fries. Real mayonnaise. Great chocolate. The best beer
6 No one knows anything about you, except for the Dutch and the French and
they make fun of you
7 More scandals in a week than any other country in a decade
8 You can drive like a maniac on the road and nobody cares
9 All your famous countrymen are imaginary
10 Face it. It's not really a country, is it?
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH:
1 When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay
2 Experience the joy of winning the World Cup for the first time
3 You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs
4 If there's a war you can surrender really early
5 You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel
4
6 You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries
7 You can be ugly and still become a famous film star
8 Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating
your sense of national pride
9 You don't have to bother with toilets, just sh!t in the street
10 People think you're a great lover even when you smell and you're not.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING NORWEGIAN:
1 You get to pay the highest taxes in the world
2 You can kill baby seals and eat Rudolf the Reindeer
3 You live in total freezing darkness half the year and get 24 hours
ozone-hole radiation the other half
4 You can get capital punishment for smoking dope
5 You can go skiing in your knickers
6 You get to hate the Swedes and beat the Brazilians in football
7 You have to be a woman to get anywhere
8 You don't need to worry about land prices rocketing - its fairly spacious
9 When abroad you can impress people you meet with stories about killing
polar bears and shagging penguins - and they believe you
10 You can actually get bored with blondes
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH:
1 Two World Wars and One World Cup
2 Warm beer
3 You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket
4 You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events
5 Union jack underpants
6 Water shortages guaranteed every single summer
7 You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power
8 Bathing once a week - whether you need to or not
9 Ditto changing underwear
10 Beats being Welsh, Irish or Scottish
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SCOTTISH:
1 You ain't English!
2 You ain't English!
3 You ain't English!
4 You ain't English!
5 You ain't English!
6 You ain't English!
7 You ain't English!
8 You ain't English!
9 You ain't English!
10 You ain't English!
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN:
1 In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes
2 Unembarrassed to wear fur
3 No need to worry about tax returns
4 Glorious military history prior to 400BC
5 Can wear sunglasses inside
6 Political stability
7 Flexible working hours
8 Live near the Pope
9 Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair
10 Country run by Sicilian murderers
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH:
1 Glorious history of killing South American tribes
2 The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees
3 You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits, etc
4 The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans
5 Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it's the real thing
6 Honesty
7 Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight clothes
and risk your life in front of bulls
8 You get to eat bull's testicles
9 You cry for Gibraltar
10 Supported Argentina in Falklands War
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN:
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
Give them a second chance:
1 Oktoberfest
2 Oktoberfest-beer
3 BMW
4 VW
5 Audi
6 Mercedes
7 On a highway you can travel at a speed that would bring you to jail in any
other country of the world
8 You do not have to learn German as a foreign language
9 You think Sauerkraut is delicious
10 Contrary to common belief laughing is not forbidden by law (yet)
Autor
Thema: witze über heimatland... (Gelesen 5251 mal)
